Regulate, Relate, Reason: Mind-Body Strategies to Navigate Stress

As this unprecedented pandemic persists, I often reflect on the links between our minds and bodies, and how to leverage that information to care for ourselves and others during this extremely challenging time. Though we often view our minds and bodies as separate, they are constantly impacting each other, whether or not we acknowledge it.

The work of leaders like Zaretta Hammond, Brené Brown, and Dr. Bruce Perry provides insight into the stress that our brains and bodies experience during this difficult time, and why it is challenging to reach the same levels of “productivity” or complex thought as we did before the pandemic. First, the brain and body are always connected, and they are sending signals back and forth constantly, even when we are asleep. We are not a brain in a jar, or a disconnected body. Our physiological processes, thoughts, and emotions impact each other throughout every moment of our lives. To demonstrate this, let’s go through a quick exercise together.

Noticing Brain-Body Links

1. Pause to think about a time you felt angry.

Notice how you feel when remembering your anger.

• Does your heart rate speed up; does your breathing change? What else do you feel in your body?

When I did this I felt my heart rate speed up, and my breathing became quicker and shallower.

1. Take a slow, deep breath and exhale to reset.
2. Now, think about a time when you were joyful.
3. Notice how you feel when remembering your joyful moment.

• Does your heart rate or breathing change?

When I tried this, I noticed a shift in my eyes, an automatic smile, and a sense of calm.

What Can We Do About It?

The main job of our incredibly complex brains is to keep us alive, starting with the brainstem, which constantly scans our environments for threats. Though we can thank the brainstem for keeping us alive, on the flip side, it may be sending us signals of danger during the pandemic. If we are feeling emotionally unsafe or unwell in the current reality, we can get stuck in fear mode more frequently.

To fight against this, check out the below “Regulation” strategies, which tell our brains that we are physically safe.

Regulate — Strategies for Physical Safety:

• Stay hydrated throughout the day
• Eat healthy food
• Include signs of safety in our environment — soft light, soothing music, calming smells
• Breathe deeply — mindfulness practices, yoga, exercise, and body scans can help us focus on our breath
• Move our bodies every day

Once we feel physical safety, our brains’ main focus shifts to relational safety — our innate need for belonging. Like our physical safety, our relational safety looks very different than it did before the pandemic, so we must adjust how we satisfy those needs. With physical distancing, it is even more important to connect with loved ones. As Brené Brown states, “we are wired for connection.” Zaretta Hammond explains that “Relationships are not just emotional; they have a physical component” and “exist at the intersection of mind-body.” Below are some suggestions for seeking relational safety during this time.

Relate — Strategies for Relational Safety:

• Connect with loved ones on video and phone
• Safely spend time with loved ones in person
• Allow each other to process feelings in a non-judgemental way
• Laugh together — watch funny shows on video, host virtual game nights if you can’t see each other in person
• Continue to check on each other as the pandemic persists

Finally, once our bodies feel physical and relational safety, only then can we effectively engage in more complex thought through the brain’s cortex. As Zaretta Hammond writes, “Relationships … are the precursor to learning.” As Daniel Goleman puts it, when we are in “emotional distress, one cost is the effectiveness of working memory: we can’t think straight.” Below are some tips for engaging in complex thought or “Reason” as the pandemic continues.

Reason — Strategies for Complex Thought:

• Practice Regulate and Relate strategies daily
• Give ourselves grace, knowing our needs for physical and relational safety come first
• Adjust our expectations for the amount of complex thought we can sustain
• Leverage others’ perspective; Have virtual co-working sessions over phone or video
• Tap into our working style preferences using a tool like the Myers Briggs Type Indicator or DISC

These Regulate > Relate > Reason strategies are generalized, so keep in mind that everyone is different. Let’s continue to prioritize mind-body strategies for ourselves and others throughout the pandemic and beyond.